Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Chicken Fat May Crash Your Car
("Chicken Fat" Truck Driver Earl Buddy)
It’s well known that chicken fat may kill you by clogging your arteries, but did you know that it may also crash your car?
Earlier this week chicken fat that leaked from a waste truck onto the roadway caused at least four accidents and made a smelly mess in PETA’s home state of Virginia. One injured person was even taken to a hospital.
According to news reports a truck hauling waste chicken grease from a Perdue Farms plant left a valve open, and the fat leaked onto U.S. Route 13 from the plant to the Maryland state line.
According to one Virginia State Police Sergeant, the gunk caused a "really funky" odor. No kidding.
The moral of the story is that if you eat meat you’re causing car accidents—and even sending some people to the hospital. Make America’s highways safe by ordering an emergency Free Vegetarian Starter Kit now.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Top 10 Signs Your Bishop Needs to be Released
10. Midway through your tithing settlement, he puts on a bear suit and pretends to devour a honeycomb while swatting angry bees.
9. When nudged awake during PEC, he mumbles "Oh good, 'Hangin with Mr. Cooper' is on tonight."
8. Last week, doctors removed 4 pounds of plastic Easter grass from his stomach.
7. Claims that he doubled the YM's budget trading cattle futures.
6. His office is littered with hundreds of old bodybuilding magazines and empty cans of Spaghetti-O's.
5. During his 5th Sunday lesson, he quotes the Jonas Brothers 11 times.
4. Wears a large plastic cone around his neck to keep from nipping at his stitches.
3. Always arrives at church on a donkey.
2. Calls you into his office, has you sit down, then says, "Callings are like a box of chocolates..."
1. Closes every BYC meeting with an REO Speedwagon song.
9. When nudged awake during PEC, he mumbles "Oh good, 'Hangin with Mr. Cooper' is on tonight."
8. Last week, doctors removed 4 pounds of plastic Easter grass from his stomach.
7. Claims that he doubled the YM's budget trading cattle futures.
6. His office is littered with hundreds of old bodybuilding magazines and empty cans of Spaghetti-O's.
5. During his 5th Sunday lesson, he quotes the Jonas Brothers 11 times.
4. Wears a large plastic cone around his neck to keep from nipping at his stitches.
3. Always arrives at church on a donkey.
2. Calls you into his office, has you sit down, then says, "Callings are like a box of chocolates..."
1. Closes every BYC meeting with an REO Speedwagon song.
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